tOmOrRoW

tomorrow is my quantities studied's test...
scare and afraid of it
my expectation for this subject is super high....
maybe is because have too high expectation,
i afraid that once it cannot reach what i expect...
i will really disappointed...
afraid of {disappointed} this word...
is a bad word that always come to me
so...
what i learned from every mistake...
is that we cannot put out hope into something....
i mean a little of hope can
but not too much....

i thought choir will come into my life again...
because teacher request me to help her again...
but actually i feel that
i am not that important if she really don't have me..
although i am there,
i still feel that she don't need me...

this noon until evening
i spend most of my time in library....
studying???
i don't this so...
talking???
yaya....
somehow,
after talking and told all my problems
it really relaxing...
a lots of secret kept inside of my heart...
i do not know who to tell and who can really understand me
but this noon...
i make it....
hoo.....
relax...
thanks for listening...

just now,
i took dinner with my parent...
they ordered all my beloved food....
they really love me...
thanks...

sPeaK oUt

sometimes i just wondering whether wanna speak out or tell out all my problems or not....
is hard...
can consider hard...
because until i still cannot get someone that really can solve all my problems except Him...
i really hope that i can get someone that can understand me well
and i do not need to speak out
and he or she know it...
i think is super hard...
who can did so??
unless the person really understand me..
speak or tell out everything really need a lots of braveness ...
if not,
cannot do so easily..

sometimes,
i feel that apologize or say some important words in front of me is important..
words like sorry,thanks and so on
are precious to me...
using other tool to say it is too fake...
only come out from is true and sincere...
because what your mouth speak is come out from your heart...

some hurting's words that speak out by people is really bad...
is hard to control ourselves from saying those words...
but as human...
we sometimes will still do it..
words cannot kill people but it will forever put deep into our heart...
maybe you might not realized that you are speaking those hurting words
but you still do it...

words??
should speak out or not??
hard question right??

gOoD oR bAd

one good news and one bad news for today...
good news is no more accounting class at 6pm until 8pm...
bad news is the class change to morning class,from 9am until 11am...
wow....
Monday our class start at 10am
Tuesday class start at 8am
Wednesday curriculum at 8.30am
Thursday class at 9am...
luckily Friday until Sunday are holidays...
but still need to get up early and end quite late also...
somehow...
teenagers should wake up more early right??

today,
my mum called me up again...
she tole me that they are going to leave KL by this noon..
but when dinner time,
they came to my house and visited me...
nice and sweet right??
they will be going back by tomorrow..
pray that all the angels will protect them....

these few days really feel tired...
really tired
but once i feel tired...
the same verse always come into my mind...
and remind me that He will gives me strength
i still waiting for His confirmation...
something really need me to wait for a long long time...
don't know whether my prayer is answered by Him or not...
just wanna know it quickly...

just now i saw something really make me feel disappointed...
am i really bad??
my language really bad??
my attitude really bad??
am i??
am i??
am i??
no one can really answer me...
now,
cannot think too much on this question
because i had promised someone not to think too much
beside,
this question is not important anymore
somehow...
tomorrow still will come....
waiting for a new day....

SundAy

today...
feel tired but happy
wake up earlier for church
today message is about the position of our heart and mind
this message is like spoken to me...
speak into my heart...
i know what shall i do now
pray hard is the only...
no matter in what aspect....
life partner...studies...relationship between friends or everything...
i will just pray and wait for God's answer...
i know maybe some of you won do that...
but i think this is the best way to do so...
at least i won fall into wrong step
and pastor keep on saying that...
His view is wide and we cannot expect or guess it...
because our view is very shortening...
what He told us,we might not know now...
but soon we will know it...

after praise and celebration,
Ivan and me went for movie...
not that nice....half boring...half interesting...
so...
my advice is better don't watch...

after movie,
we rushed to my aunt's house...
my parent is coming down to KL again...
nice to see them again...
my mum brought a lots of foods for me
is like one month harvesting...
haha..
somehow i should appreciate it very much
cause is all done by my mum who using so much time in it...
thanks...

whOle dAy

today.....
7th of November 2008
just pass quickly by just doing nothing whole day
after woke up...
my friend came to visit as usual
after lunch...
i just spend my time by watching movie...
and doing nothing else...
cannot imagine this is me,jasmine
because i seldom spend my time by just watching movie half of the day...
really not like the old jasmine...
really miss the old jasmine
who can firm in studying and will not waste her time by watching movie...

after dinner...
pit ling and me visited yeow at hospital...
she looked more better than yesterday...
is good...
hope she will get well soon...

tagged by MiNmIn

what was the happiest thing in your whole life?
*have many people that take care of me like my family,friends and also God...hehez

what do you wish to have right now?
*everything i need

when was the last time you HoUrse Laugh??
*cant remember ler

what do you realize recently?
*i realized a lot of things that i cannot imagine it

which bad habit of you that is most unacceptable?
*maybe biting fingernails...and of course still got la...

when you're unhappy what will you do?
*sleep and eat...so that can get fat at the same time

what are you afraid of losing?
*everything that i have now...

within 5 years,which target is the most realistic one?
-i think helping those needed people...maybe..

when you met someone you like,will you confess or hide your feelings?
*of course hide it...cannot let him know

list out 3 kind of persons that you hate the most?
*i think until this moment i haven meet those bad kind of people yet..

define loneliness
*alone

are you satisfied with your life now??
*i can say it con firmly yes...

when is the most recent time you felt touched?
*when i need help that time,those one who let me a helping hand i sure get touched

where is the most beautiful place that you have visited?
*haven got that chance to visit to those beautiful place yet...i think the most beautiful place that
i ever visit is my room...haha

a song that is playing in your mind recently??
*there is a lots

if you have a wish come true,what is it?
*then i wish all my wish come true...

do you have anything to worried or scared recently?
*sure....a lots...until not manage to say it...

if the world is going to end,what will you do?
*do something that you cannot guess of it...

who are you thinking of right now?
*everyone that i know

dIsSapOintEd??

today,
two of my best friends sms me
and called me read someone's blog
after reading that blog
really feel disappointed
because this is how he look at pit ling and me...
and disappointed that all that is coming out from his mouth...
such as who cares...
what so called 'best friend'
and you are testing us by saying don't friend with us
yup...
you can be kid but remember do not do it too OVER...
you are taking our friendship to play and testing on it...
maybe you are saying us wrong in such way treating you
but have you ever think it in other way???
you are saying us that just using mouth to say you are our best friend but not doing it...
but have you think carefully that we really did that??
we din sms you but do you sms us???
do not blame others for not doing that and this
but think of ourselves before we point it to others...
remember...
when you pointing at people...
one finger is pointing others but three fingers are pointing back to ourselves...

today still feel tired
do not know whether is too busy with everything or fall sick...
whole day feel like no energy...
luckily...i can spend my rest time by going to my friend's house which is near by college to sleep
if not....
i cannot imagine whether can concentrate in the class or not...

yeow admitted to hospital this morning...
pray that she will get well soon...