31st DEC

today will be the last day for 2008....
going to end everything..
everything that happened this year will be past
but what i doing now still in present
waiting for future...
wish??
dream??
lots for next year...
waiting for it to come...

i think i still left one more thing that haven settle down...
friend's problem
maybe you think i am wrong saying those words to you...
and you think that if i really treat you as friend,
those words will not come out from my mouth...
right??
just say sorry to you here...
maybe you think is not enough...
but is your choice to choose forgive me or not...
won force you to forgive me
just hope we are still friend...
if i know this will be the end of our friendship...
then,
i will not choose as what i did that day...
because i don't hope friendship just end so...
somehow..
this is all i can do...
and if you still making the same decision
then...
this is what you choose...

somehow...
new year coming
i need to look forward but not backward...
waiting new thing come into my life...

thanks Emily..
thanks for your advice
really happy that i still have chance to talked to you
really miss you...
and all of my friends...
although not going back kuantan even have holidays
but i still super miss you all
waiting for the days that i really can crapping with all of you...
always miss the times that we spend together

HAPPY NEW YEAR

13 days to final exam

fiNalLy...

today
after class went to shopping again with yeow...
finally get the shoes that i have been finding so long...
almost walked all the shoes' shop in sg wang
but still cannot get and finally i saw one pair of shoe which almost same as what i want...
then,
not thinking too much it
buy it....

finally i found out the price for sushi buffer per person
quite expensive...
but actually it is almost the same price as normal sushi that i bought...
i think must go try if got chance...

finally,
my parent know what i keep from them since long ago...
since they know it...
i think i am free from something
left out one problem...
yeepee...
happy...
but still have lots of things to worry bout
hope everything will get well soon

14 days to final exam

fEw daYs

left few more days will be the new year for us...
when i recalled back on what i did within the year of 2008...
there is a lot of things happened in my life...
things that i really memorable to me...
this year got lots of happiness
and of cause sadness...
i think i should done more things next year...
got lots of dreams...

today,
he is explaining a lots of things to me
maybe is to calm down the feeling of afraid or scare in my heart...
maybe its help
maybe no
just do not how to explain the feeling...
i know really nothing happened
but how to say...
really cant express it out...
hope everything will be fine
praying hard...for everything...

15 days to final exam

lAsT sUndAy

today will be the last Sunday for 2008...
so fast...
yet now is the last Sunday...
but nothing special
as usual went to church..
is just Sunday for 2008 will not coming back again...

today
while i were praying
telling God what i feel
what i afraid of
what i confuse of
what i worried of
and He is answering my prayer
i know that i am wrong in doing something
He is telling me that i am wrong
at that moment
i just feel so sorry to Him
i do not know what can do..
because until this moment i still afraid and worried of it...
hope all my worries will just go out from my mind...
hope everything will be settle down...

*17 days to final exam*

shOpPinG

today,
just spend almost my whole day at Time Square again..
i went with Ivan...
really bought lots of things
is like almost finish preparing things for Chinese New Year...
did not spend much
but can bought lots....
and of cause must thank him for choosing most of things for me
because i really got no idea in buying clothes
beside,
i think i don't have better taste like him...

after finished buying things
we went for movie
"The Day the Earth stood still"
the story is short
and is like cutting down a lots of story until that short
overall still ok...
and waiting free time to watch Bedtimes story....

SuRpRis3-pArT 2

today is Christmas
the day that i have been waiting for many long...
somehow...
today just passed by normal day...
something that different is he is celebrating the Christmas with me...
he spend his whole day with me...
we just did nothing....
watching some of the series movie....

he is a really nice guy that i had met...
he give me those comfortable feeling when spending time with him...
he won force me to do anythings that i don't like...
he really treat me good...
today,
he is giving me another surprise...
this is the second surprise that he gave to me since i know him...
he is introducing me another friend,Patrick...
a super cute dog...
i really shock
because as usual...
after i finish settle down everything
i will just continue the movie
then suddenly...
he is telling me that he wanna introduce a dog for me
i thought i heard wrong or what
then,
he shown cute Patrick
really cute
thank you so much for doing such lots of things for me...

cHrIstMaS

MERRY　CHRISTMAS
to
MY FRIENDS...

i celebrate my Christmas at hotel...
everything like so different
although the event at here is much more interesting
the venue is like much more grand
the people here more cloud
but the feeling that i have is totally different
i really miss my home church a lots...
my friends are all there
is like more comfortable celebrate with them
a lots of around me at KL here
but i am still like celebrate alone
wanna joined them...
long time did not go yc with them....
last time i am the one who helped in Christmas
but now is my turn sitting down to see the performances
hope that i can joined them next year...

today messages and all the event run through really touch my heart
don't know why
just feel touching...
i just remembered few sentences

we may seem different on the outside
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
but inside all the same
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Christmas is about giving and giving no matter what...

cHrIsTmAS EvE

yeepee............
today is Christmas eve
Christmas coming
waiting for it since long long time ago
and yet tonight is my home church's celebration
really feel miss them....
really is my first time not involving in their celebration
i still remembered past few years i am involving in the drama...
hehez....
funny acting from my friends....
love to see them act in drama....
this year cannot make it....
is ok...
i will try my best to join them next year...

some of my friends asked me...
why did not go back??
my friends in kuantan thought i busy....
but some of my other friends
thought i did not go back is because of someone...
but how can them so confirmed about this??
they know me??
boring in explaining why did not go back to them....

somehow....
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE TO MY FRIENDS....

lOv3 hUrtS

i find this article was nice when i reading on it....
is about love hurts....

sometimes love sure hurts!
the mother and father were expressing the difficulties and heartaches of guiding their children through their teen years...
the couple was expressing the sadness when moving along with her/his partner....
the person was expressing the difficulties of joining their friends...
maybe if we did not love them quite so much, it would not be so hard...
even though love brings pain and sorrow,what would life be without it??

someone said this:

to love at all is to be vulnerable
love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly be broken
if you want to make sure of keeping it intact,
you must give your heart to no one,
no even an animal
wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries
avoid all entanglements
lock it up safe in the case or coffin of your selfishness

but what is the point of your life if we keep on closing our heart to love anyone of them??
to love is to take risks
to expose our hearts
sometimes it hurts!!
but this is because we care for them too much...


therefore,
truly loving that spouse,that teenager,that neighbor,that friends
and it's better than locking your heart in the coffin or self -centeredness
because
nothing costs as much as loving
except no loving

mOod.....

finally,
timetable for examination is released...
can say happy because everything was settle down before Chinese New Year....
is unhappy because it seems like everything packed together...
if i really cannot finished revision before exam
then i think i not manage to score for that subject
somehow,
i think now is the time i really need to put more effort in it....
because i really have no confident in it....

i quite unhappy with one of the member in our assignment group
what she did really sorry.....
since last semester until this semester still in the same group as her....
i really not agree with it...
she thought what she did is correct and don't even asked comment from 3 of us
end up...
we need to redo and correct it again
and until now she still haven send the information to me...
then??
what i can say about her???
hope forever she will not be in the same group as me

the third thing is our account teacher....
he thought who he is
the way he teaches really effective
but his attitude super bad...
he don't ever think that his attitude got problem
but he just point his finger at us and said we are wrong
what type of teacher is this....
really.....
if i am not under my control,
i think he already got shoot by me....

cHrIstMaS??

yeow and me went to Christmas party which held at our neighbour's house who is also our church members.....
is fun...
although is quite a simple Christmas party but it really nice...
its really look like the real Christmas...
count downing for 25th of December....
waiting for it since long time ago....
woohoo.....
still got few more days to go....

there is Christmas celebration

DATE : 24th of DECEMBER 2008
VENUE : Kuala Lumpur International Hotel
TIME : 7.30pm (pre-event)
8.30pm

all are welcome....

sometimes i feel like it is important to make myself free on Sunday or those important days...
i must make sure that i am free on those days...
no matter how busy or how tired am i..
there is no excuses for me to "take leave" on those day...
i feel like there is no other things are much more important...
unless really have something much more important...
somehow
just depend on you in how to look at things
different people have different view
therefore,
all the above just what i think...

wAitInG

i am waiting for those days to come...
waiting for it...
especially Christmas's eve
Christmas that day itself
the day after i finished my final exam...
the day i can have my holidays...

i think it might be fun on Christmas's eve night....
waiting for the programs that well prepared by them..
curious what will be the programs and what will happen on that day

although i did not go back kuantan for my Christmas
and yet this is the first time not going back
but he celebrate with me...
you hope i stay at KL but you wanted me to go back....
i think you had been thinking this for so long right??
actually i had make decision before i asked you that question
that's why i am not going back
besides,
my mum just asked me to stay..

i think i have not been going to their gathering for more than half a year...
this time...
i thought i am going back
and yet i told my friends
but end up...
i cannot make it
feel like so sorry to my friends
my primary school's friends, MC4clanz, my church's friends....
i think for sure can meet you all next year
but i think you all will be busy that time....

i just wanna finish my final exam now...
sometimes feel stress in it...
i have no confident for this semester...
i scare i might fail in some subject....
is a MUST for me to passed it...
i cannot fail in any subject
but i think is quite hard for me too...
going to study hard from now onwards...
cannot let anything to stop from it...

holidays..............
i love holidays
because at least i am free for some days....
with no study problems....
and of cause i can have my favorite foods that sell in kuantan
so long...
almost 3 months have not eating them
miss all the foods
start listing up the foods that i wanna eat when i go back...
waiting for it...

ReAlLy TiReD

i really feel tired...
i got no more idea in what to do....
some said what i did is still considered ok...
some said what i did is wicked and off....
so what shall i do??
i don't think i can follow others to do things right??
Mr.A said i am right
Mr.B said i am wrong...
so??i should stand at which side??

maybe most of you agree that i really changed
and i might change to a person that you don't know
i might change to a scary person
i might smile in front of you but actually i am thinking in my heart on how to so called 'kill' or hurt you...
this is what people think of me now...
maybe yes
maybe no

just tired of all these...
i do not know why a small matters can just turn up like this....
i also do not know why all these happened...
i thought everything just settle down easily...
but actually cannot....

one thing just come into my mind is...
relationship is hard to maintain
especially boy girl relationship...
friendship...
easy to start for these two relationship
but once things happened...
hard to solve it...
anyway..
scare of it...

what i wrote in my blog just to write out all my feeling
i don't meant anything inside here
i might write this
but the day after tomorrow
i might forget about it...
so...
it is not letting people to point all the mistakes
and also saying i am wrong...
i think i should end with...
i am not a good blogger...

tAlKiNg

i think i had been emphasize this a lots of times...
what you speak is just come out from your heart...
while you think so much,
then those angry feeling will just store in your heart and finally
you just do it by action or by talking

trust or don't trust depend on how you look at me...
different people have different view when looking at me as jasmine
and i cannot control the way you look at me,right??
i cannot change your view or comment on me...
so...
no point i keep on explain on i did and so on....
i am no those person that like to give explanation...
i will not like to give explanation when i am wrong
for me,
wrong means wrong
correct means correct
don't change the facts...
and those people who know me well
they know that i don't like to explain
if you do not know this....
i tell you now......

i treat everyone the same...
you might think that i treat you like treating a ball
got problems will find you
no problems...bye...get out from my life...
i am not those kind of people....
but who can really understand that
actually college life is not that free or easy....

today
finally finished
macroeconomics' coursework
what can i said for that??
one word can explain all...
DIE...
just cannot imagine what will i get for this
pass or fail??
afraid to think of it...
i think is time for me to start study...
wanna go back to my old life in order to get better results...
gambateh to all of my friends who start preparing for final exam...

tagged by David

i tag
1:kelven
2:pit ling
3:su jean
4:woon yee
5:shi min
6:shirley
7:hong thong

How you know 1?
from church,shalom fellowship since 2006

What would you do if you never meet 2?
will try my best to find out who is that person

What would you do if 3&4 dated you?
erm....i don't think they will date me...because they will dated "someone"

Would 5&6 make a good couple?
erm...nO....

Do you think 4 is attractive?
she is sexy....haha...

Do you know anything about 1's family?
yes....he have father,mother,sister ,brother

Tell me something about 7?
She is a good solver to settle down all those chasing problem

What language does 2 speaks?
mandarin

Who is 3 going out with?
curry chicken

How old is 5?
same as me..

When was the last time u talk to 1?
i think one week before today

Who is 6's favorite singer?
i don't know T.T

Would you date 7?
i think so because she look busy than me

6 single?
i guess so..

What is 5's last name?
min

Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?
NO!!!!! the answer is definitely no

Which school does 2 goes to?
Tunku Abdul Rahman College..

What do you like about 3?
always in blur situation....

cHrIsTmAs cEl3bRatIoN

there is a Christmas celebrate at Kuala Lumpur International Hotel.....
on Christmas eve that night....
happy...
and i am waiting that day to come...
do not know why...
Christmas bring some special of feeling to me...
but on Christmas that itself got no planned on how to celebrate
because i no more in kuantan this Christmas...
therefore got no plan
besides,
KL here sure got lots of people whenever we go especially on Christmas
so...
stay at home better right??

just feel like soon will having boring Christmas
somehow,
he know i did not go back kuantan
and he planned to celebrate with me...
happy to hear that...
at least he come to celebrate with me...
his caring just touch me lots
i know thanks cannot replace everything that he did
somehow,
still need to say thanks right??
this mean that i really appreciate what you did for me since the beginning until now...

yEs oR nO

actually i planned so long that i am going back on Christmas that day
i thought i can celebrate at my home church...
but when i called back
they celebrate on Christmas eve
so it seem like i cannot join them
because my class end at 6pm
even when i rush back,
the event just will end once i reached
so...
no going back this Christmas.....
i told my friends that i going back
and now not going back,
and miss those gathering again
owh.........
and of cause miss the chance that can talk with my friends...
sorry......my friends........

this time is my first time not going back home for 2months over.......
if my parent did not came KL
i think i will only have chance next year....

this few days keep on getting call from my mum and sister about staying problems
there is very troublesome when we got no house at KL
staying at others' house is like troublesome and also not that good....
i keep on thinking those problems that happened.....
i really cannot think of better way to solve it...
so...
the conclusion is they will stay with me when they come to KL....

fInaLlY fInIshEd

today is the last day for us to join curriculum
finally.....
i been joining tennis around 8 weeks
learned a lots of things...
of course tennis consider a new sport for me too....
quite tiring but really fun........

i am late for curriculum day
do not know why i just don't feeling well....
since last night until this morning...
luckily,
he is there when i really sick.....
he take care me yesterday night....
i think he whole night don't sleep well.....
thanks....

somehow
finally finished curriculum for this semester..
i can start to focus in my studied now....
must pass all the subject for this semester......
this is my aim............

lIf3

today
right after class
me and Ivan to KLCC
just to buy something
i thought i might spend much times in it
but out of my expectation
finished everything before 1pm
super fast right??

after when we reached home,
Ivan and me started to discuss those misunderstanding happened between us....
he told me a lots of things
his opinion
his comment....
most of them is about things that happened in our life
and so on
somehow some of our opinion just different....
think differently
maybe i might accept what he said
but i think i still have my own opinion
is hard for me to change
because this is my original opinion
right??
i think you sure will understand it...

lEaRnEd

these two days i really learned a lots of things...
inside and also outside...
really increase my faith...
we a re like onion...
in order to cook onion...
its skin must be wiped off one by one and its take time
because we might stop in the middle...
and as we know,wiped off onion's skin is very hard to control tears not to flow out...
right??
it is same as us,human....
we got lots of hurt and bitterness in our heart
in order to wiped it off from our heart
its really take times....
we might cry in the middle of 'wiping off'
but i believe in one day...
all the hurts and bitterness will be wiping off...
just by faith...

sometimes
i might have negative thinking about myself like i am not good ,i am not as pretty as other girl
i am not as smart as other girl...and so on
but after the classes within these few days
i know in God's eye i am perfect because is HE created me...
He created me with purpose...
i really understand finally...

there is lots of opinion about friends in my chat box...
really thanks lots for all the comment or opinion...
maybe different peoples have different view about friends...
wanna thanks that you all still remembered me...
friends are really all around me but i will fell lonely when i am in troubles
when i have problems...
at that moment,
i really thought of i got no friends at all....
there is why i also settle down all my problems myself without telling friends...
somehow,
just thanks that you all still there be with me
i think i will change my opinion about friends....

to my friend,Emily...
maybe at this moment
you still cannot get any best friend or friends that you can tell your problems to...
maybe you are tired with it...
but i am still here with you...
maybe you didn't realized that actually i always viewing your blog to know how are you all that.........
wanna know how's life when you went back kuantan...
when read through your blog
feel that you are so depressed like me...
but now i am totally good
i find the way to walk out...
i hope you too..........
maybe what i said now is wrong...
somehow i still there with you
always love and miss you...

a dAy t0 b3 r3m3mb3r3d

today....
i really in bad mood
i don't feel like talking and even accompany others....
i just want to be alone....
once i wake up early in the morning,
some misunderstand occur
i not really mind
but it is all about whether i did it or not...
besides,
lots of things come into my mind and make me get into the situation of misunderstanding...

the night before,
i really thought of closing this blog and forever disappear...
and also thought of not posting my feeling ,my thought here...
because i do not want someone say he/she understand is just after reading my blog...
do not act like you are so understand me unless you really go into deep of my heart
there is no such thing like..
'i so understand you, jasmine' and yet you just read through my blog....
there is lots of things in my mind that man forever cannot understand
i might do something that you really cannot thought of it...
and this is me...

when i really fall into so called 'own world'
someone really pick me up....
she sms me....
and her words really help me lots...
i told her my problems
is because i believe her...
she will not tell around my secret to the others...
she will not tell my problems to the others just to get advice or solutions by others to help me even did not say out my name....
she will just tell me what should i do...
i just wanna thanks her for everything...

Choong min
my so called teacher and best friend...
he treat me super good...
although he just teaches me for few months
but we are like super best friends...
he sms me and support me all the time
thanks....

thanks God that He know my situation...
He speaks to me through bible study time...
and finally i got the way to bind IT
and i got free from everything
my faith increases
His words is powerful to solve everything ....

Fri3nds???aGaIn??

i still remembered pass few days

i had read one passage

about

TO HAVE ONE,BE ONE

its said that all of us need at least one or two close friends.

One guy defined a friend as someone who knows all about you and likes you just the same

some said:

a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature

some said:

a friend is the first person to come in when the whole world goes out...

in Proverbs said that a friend loves at all times...

yes...is true that we cant improve on that definition

to have someone who remains true to us under all circumstances is on of life's choicest blessings

the support and encouragement that only a close friend can offer is sorely needed when

the burden of life weigh heavily upon us...

sometimes...

i think that to get a close friend is not that easy...

some friends might betray you...

some friends might hurt you...

some friends might use you when they need you...

friends??

what is friends??

sometimes

just wanna close myself in a small square box...

away from the true world

away from people around me...

keep staying in my world

a world there is super silence which can away from busyness

i still remembered one night

it is almost 4am in the morning,

standing alone...

looked around the silence KL

i just feel lonely

suddenly just miss my family...

at that moment

i am thinking...

where are my friends??

they are all around me...

plenty of them...

but who is the one that still know the presence of me...

i keep on thinking this question...

some might think that

u might have no friends

but you still got lover beside you...

for me...

there is no different...

your lover might just forever be with you...

but do he or she really understand deep inside your heart...

the true friend that i ever find in my life is He,Jesus...

He see me in such a way that people cant see it...

He see all my goodness instead of weakness

He change all my weaknesses but not dumb on me...

somehow

in this world

we still need friends

in proverb...

makes an important point and takes us beyond the description of what it means to be a friend

friendliness must begin with us...

when it comes to friends

TO HAVE ONE
YOU MUST BE ONE

DaY

i am late for class today....
my class start at 8am
and yet i woke up at 7.30am
is quite rush for me because....
i needed to use 15 minutes to settle up myself and go to college by BUS...........
luckily,
i can finished cleaning up myself within 15 minutes....
super fast...
rushing to bus stop and at the same time
i am carrying winnie the pooh..
the pooh pooh is like not that big and not that small
just troublesome
somehow is woon yee's birthday present...
hope she like it...

yesterday night before sleep,
i just feel confused in something
don't know why
i just keep on asking myself
who am i..
who am i
and who am i...
keep on asking
suddenly i got no idea in who am i...
i am lost at that time....
really lost because i cant find myself...
at that time
got noone who can answer me this
i feel scared and afraid
then
one voice come into me
the voice told me that i am child of God
i am His daugther
and suddenly all my faith come back again
i am not confused in this question
and my mood turn from emo to happy....
i know is His voice talking me
He is the one who did not leave me
burn my faith up when i am down
know my heart well...
is HE....
He is like my father and also friend
never leave me........
He is good......

sOngS

Songs............
when i feel sad,
i will automatically press worships' songs...
those songs will conform my heart
will let me have peace in my heart.........
sometimes,
i might cry it out
crying will bring me comfort not because of guilty....

while i was worshiping Him,
i just can feel that he is just right beside me
hug me when i sad
hold my hand along the journey of my life
cleanse all my sins when i really did something wrong
He is so good until not leaving me alone no matter how....
He forever be the same...
last time,now and until the earth end...
when seeing He so mighty,
i really feel like i am small....
small until like an ant...
need Him all the times...
so that i can rest my soul,mind and body...

mOoD

we got a lots of different mood in our daily life
sad...
bad...
happy...
confuse...
and so on.......
sometimes
we might sad in this moment
but suddenly will change to happy next moment...

some of us might get controlled by their own feeling or mood......
when we are happy,
we will treat everyone better...
but when we are in sad mood...
we will put all our mood to everything around us...
for example,
when we are angry,
then we might scold someone

we should not let feeling or mood control us...
we should control them....
do you know when all the feeling control us...
we might do something hurts...
but forever we won realized it....

the words that speak out is the easiest way to hear others...
mouth and heart is directly related...
what your heart think,
your mouth will speak it out....
do not let your heart let your mouth unclean....

Sunday's messages really speak into my heart...
its said that
stay in faith and do what the Word says,rather than doing what you feel...
we are all inexperienced in too much of life to be without a guide.
therefore,
God's Word is the guide...

cHaNgE

everything was changed in my blog except all the post...
for me is the big changes
because i really don't have good skill in making it to old blog again
and its almost taken me few hours to finished going this blog...
take times
but when i look it again...
its does not wasting my time...

blog change....
my life also change...
since i know Him
my life change...
my life change to more challenging
somehow i learned lots in all the challenge that i met..
my life seem to be more challenging...
so...
is it good??

beside,
my hairstyle also change
today went for hair cutting
sad....
the girl don't cut my hair into what i wanted
not really nice...
wanna back my old hairstyle
T.T
hope my hair will grow faster....

someone
who know me well...
wanted me to left my problems to him...
thanks lots
he so understand me
when i stuck in the middle between friends
he help me...
when i cried
he just sat beside me and hear all my problems...
he try to help me solve everything secretly...
when i wanna this and that
he will try to get it for me...

it seem like everything changed...
no matter what change in my life
just pray that the friendship between me and my friends will never change...
it will just be the same...

dReAm

is normal that we have a dream...
my dream always come true
after few days sure will happened after few days later...
is true...
somehow i don't believe too much on my dream...

is not wrong to believe what you dream
but do not believe too much in it
because maybe it is fate
if is true then nothing
but what if it is fate??
u might disappointed...

sometimes
i cannot recognise whether the dream is given by God or is just a normal dream
i cannot differentiate it...
maybe i still do not have a close relationship with God
therefore i cannot differentiate it
but dream somehow is just a dream

therefore
pray hard to differentiate which is the vision and which is the dream...

tOdAy

noone else can ever give me the feeling when i am worship...
the feeling while i am worshiping is undescribable
sometimes touch
sometimes really is like wanna jump around...
sometimes wanna cry...
lots more...
today while worshiping,
i saw myself standing in front of the cross
i look tiny and small
and the cross look so large....
large until i cannot see the top...

message for today sermon is nice
i really learned something after the messages
we are told that not to do thing by following our feeling but using God's Word....
sometimes
we do doing things by following our feeling
therefore easily got into wrong step
but with His Word
this can be avoid...
so...
His Word in our lives is very important...
must read it...

SuRpRiC3

surprise???
i always wondering what is the feeling when you really got the surprise from
family??
lover??
best friends??
friends??
the feeling is really nice....
because is like they did lots of things without telling you...

to :my friend (you know who you are)
i really feel surprise when i got the key chain from you...
i did not expect that you bought it and keep it until today...
really surprise...
i feel shock at the same time
you told me that it is a empty box
but when i hold it...
it does not seem empty
and once i opened it...
is the key chain and this is the forth key chain you had given to me
i thought you will wait and buy together with me
but ....everything was perfectly planned by you
i know you understand me very well....
without saying a word,
you can guess what am i trying to say next..
but i cannot....
am i look poor in it??
am i still lack of understanding??
hope there will be no argument between us
because of my slow reaction in understand you or my slow thinking....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to
WOON YEE

hope all your dreams come true...

aGaIn

today,
i meet him again
is quite long din meet him...
and we go time square for movie again....
before that,
we visited his house
and we really decided to shift there next year
nice environment
and i think God will plan for us....
maybe He has another plan for us....

we almost spend whole day in time square
really got lots of things wanna buy
but at the end don't even buy a thing....
is hard....

then,at 7.30pm
i watched movie with Ivan ,Pit Ling and Eric....
Bolt is a funny and cute movie...
don't feel sleepy when watching it....
so...
if got any chance must try to watch that movie...

pHoTos

mE AnD WoOn yE3

Yi ShAn anD m3

ChOoN pEnG

m3 and tIcK KiAt

all these are the photos that taken when we finished our presentation....
sorry for not uploading last week because of network problem.....

kNow oR dOn't kNoW

still left one more month is my final exam....
now getting stress and stress
because i don't have much confident in this final exam....
the time for this semester really not enough....
Monday :class start at 11am ,then 7pm only end of the class
Tuesday :class start at 8pm until 4pm
Wednesday :from 8.30am until 6pm
Thursday :from 9am until 5.30pm
almost used half of my day....
when i reached home...
is tired...
no more energy to do other things
the only thing i always did after is SLEEP....
sleep the whole day until the next class
and start preparing for classes....
feel like don't have time to finish my tutorial or even doing revision...
this is so called college life....
maybe for someone it is not that busy...
not that hard
but when you standing in my position
u will know how hard and tired it is....

the real Jasmine do not like to explain everything to people on what she did...
because she not really care what others thing bout her....
she don't need the confirmation from others
or agreement from others
misunderstanding toward her is normal...
i don't think i need to explain how my life pass everyday...
it is not important....
i seldom tell all my problem to the others
because i think that its cant help anything
somehow all of my friends who are so caring will try to help me solve all the problems
and not throwing stone to me...

this semester really happened a lots of things in my life
i gain lots of experiences toward the things that i passed through
i just understand how this world run....
before this
i was stand under my parent's protection until i know nothing...
but now,
i really understand much and thank God
i am more independent and mature now...
when you look at me,
physically i look no problem
but who can understand deep inside my heart except Him who is so mighty
who know i am crying deep inside my heart
who know i am crying everyday before sleep
who know???
i might look strong outside
but actually i am weak
i hope there is someone who just sit beside me and hear all my problems
and thank God there is someone
there is someone that hear all my problems
someone who try to help me solve the problem
someone who just sit beside me when i am crying
there is someone.....

at this moment
i really weak in every circumstances...
i am not that strong like last time
because God has changed me from a selfish person to a more caring person
at least i know how to care for others which i won do it before i know Christ
do you agree with me??hehez....
i start to smile after i know Him
i start to talk after i know Him....
everything in my life was changed....
hope my friend will understand me that i am keeping everything and also using my time do useless things

tIm3

today is 4th of December....
year 2008 coming to the end
time passed really fast...
i had been staying KL for 7 months
and i almost finished 2nd semester of my course....

by the way,
Christmas is also coming soon
every year just waiting for this day....
do not know what will happen on that day....
as usual,
i will spend my Christmas at my home church
although i might get something new in my second church but i still miss my home church
i grow from there,a small church
although is small
i really learned a lots of things
and also know lots of friends from there....
is the place where i can start my christian life again....
although its takes my 3 hours journey back
but the place still kept inside my heart all the times....

going back to Kuantan on Christmas
wanna meet my friends again....
miss them so much....
hope to see them soon.....

WoRds

i learned something from previous cell group session
in Roman 12:2
it said that 'do not conform any longer to the pattern in this world,but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is........His good,pleasing and perfect will'
sometimes we might follow the pattern of this world,
we do not know whether it is correct or not
somehow,we just follow it because others is doing the same thing also...
but sometimes it is a mistake in God's eye and yet we do not know and keep on doing it....
therefore,
we must renew our mind,
so that we might follow His view...

sometimes
the words speak out from our mouth really hurt someone
and yet we don't even know that
do not ever know that the words that you speak might come true....
therefore do not speak bad words or curse others
because all the cursing that speak out from your mouth might come true....

start from today,
speak out those beautiful word which can touch others' heart
^_^v

lOnG

it is almost one week i had not been online
because of network problems
quite troublesome without internet
not manage to get information for studied used...

i really got not much time for this semester
i got no more time to do other things
is my fault if i did not do my part at home
i am like standing at the top of mountain
like no other way for me walk through
i am afraid that i cannot manage to understand the topic that teacher teaching
plenty of homework
a tons of it....
really much...
pray that with His strength i can understand what is teaching by lecturer....

fAmIlY

thank God....
my dad recovered much more faster than other patients that got the same illness....
he is resting in my aunt's house
i feel more relaxing now
i am not that afraid like last time
i scare of losing him...
he is the best father....
he treat me the best...
he is happy when seeing 3 of us standing in front of him and take care of him....
just wanna thank God for hearing my prayer and answering my prayer
i been prayed for at least one month
He know that i am crying in my heart for all the problems that i met...
thank you,Father....

tIr3d

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to
YEE SHAN

today,
i went for tennis practice
really learned something....
at least i know some of the skill in playing tennis
although is tired but feel happy after learning it
i had been trying my best to learn tennis
tennis is a tiring and hard sport
it is not easy for me
but still need to try it...

after tennis,
i study for my coming account exam and also presentation
feel scared
scare to talk in front of everyone,especially my classmates
but the same verse come into my mind again
Phillipian 4:13
by faith i think i can do it....

sHoCk

i feel shock when hearing the news from my best friend,pit ling
early in the morning
before went for church,
pit ling went into my room and start telling me everything
i really shock of it
is like so fake
but actually it is true...
not fake...
so unbelievable
may God bless her in everything
no matter what she did will just following God's footstep
hope this is from God's view but not by her own view....

pit ling,
God bless you....

cOmInG

today
two of my friends coming to KL
they are from kuantan
happy to meet them
but we seem strange when we meet each others...
we like do not know each others well...
quite disappointed with that...
i thought we still can stay together and talking like last time
but everything was changed....

before we take dinner together...
pit ling,Ivan and me when shopping again...
as usual...
spending time there
we also went for 'one life'
is really nice...
i really like fall into their situation...
i got negative in HIV/AIDS
but pit ling and Ivan got positive in HIV/AIDS
hehez....
finally i learned something after 'one life's program

Jas,pIt lInG aNd iVan's Hands....

around 7pm
we rush for that dinner
i thought we are late
but somehow,
still got late comers
i do not have chances to have conversation with them
hope i still have chance to meet them and start crapping ....

ThAnK yOu aNd SoRrY

thank you and sorry are the simplest word...
but it is hard for us to say it out....
why??
some of us shy to said it out...
some of us think that say these two words are very shameful...
do you ever know that this two simple word can touch people's heart or even show how much you appreciate what they did for you...

do not let other reasons to block you from saying these two words out from your mouth...
do not think that the person will know you will said so to them,even though you did not say it out
maybe some of my friends think that it is not necessary to say thanks and sorry
but i think these two words are important....

say too much of it will not affect anything from you....
therefore,
start from today onward
practice saying thanks and sorry....

uNlUcKiLy daY

today my class started at 8am....
i had set my plenty of alarm to 6.30am
so that i can prepared myself earlier...
but....
maybe too tired..
i wake up at 7.15am....
when i saw my clock showing 7.15am
i wake up in advance and prepared myself quickly....
and yet i can finished preparing at 7.30am....
then,
i still late
because this morning,
the lift broke down
so,
my housemate and me walked from floor 7 until car park b2
add together 9 floors...
really a good exercise early in the morning....

finally finished BISA test....
feel more relaxing
not that stress
not sure can pass or not
hope can pass it....

just wanna thanks all of our friends for your caring and supporting....
the operation for today very good....
thanks that keep on asking how was it....
and thanks for your prayer....
finally,
something is settle down right now....

is sad that when my friends left me one by one....
i really don't like the feeling of leaving
i can get this feeling
when after i finished my studied in primary school....
although still in the same hometown
but still miss them
then leaving after form 5....
everyone going to different places to continues their studies....
is hard to meet them...
everyone got different holidays....
everyone look busy
include me myself....
super miss my friends there is leaving last time and now....

sUpEr.................

today..

us again....pit ling,Ivan and me

take dinner at Pizza Hut....

is fun also....

after we finished order Pizza,

the waiter just double confirmed with us 

is it true for the order.....

because only 3 of us

and we had order 3 regular Pizza

then 2 mushroom soup,coke and bread......

the waiter just get shock of it...

but we really can finished it....

are we super good in eating???

hehez....

raining almost half of the day....

we used almost half an hour only can get taxi.....

with quite a lots of stuff together....

but is good...

because i can enjoy myself in the presence of rain

fIsH???

what is fish??

not the fish that we can get in the sea or any other places.....

is so called embarrassing....

today pit ling , Ivan and me went to KLCC.....

before this

we planned to go Canaan Land

but unfortunately...

is off.....

we manage to walked a few round in the book store....

then we planned to go another bookstore

something 'fish' happened....

i saw someone walked out from the bookstore and almost knock on the door....

he thought it was the electronic door....

but actually the door is just beside that "electronic door"

we almost smiled whole day for that incident....

later on

we watched wushu before went home

is nice...

still ok....

waiting for more movie coming out soon.....

lIfE

i really can learned in discipleship programme ....
learned a lots of things
i found out that the story or testimony was touching....
talking how a girl helped her friend and she herself get caught...
and ran through all the tough life....
compared to me...
mine was much more easy...

what is life???
i keep on asking myself this question....
is this a hard question???
maybe yes
maybe no

when i thought back last time,
i am those selfish person
i won care what happen in this world
or even what happened in you....
but i found that i start to change
i start to care about others
i start to asked how are you....
more often compared to last time
but is this the right way changing to more caring??
or is just bringing me more problem??
cant answer for it....

i feel is a bit of tough in the subject that i learned in this semester....
feel that getting tougher ,tougher and tougher....
got limit time....
the time that i spend with God getting lesser and lesser...
but i am happy that He still be with me...
renew my soul
refresh my mind as well
when i really meet problem....
i can remembered he told us that
*the LORD gives strength to His people,the LORD blessed his people with peace* which state in Psalm 29:11
always remember this verse...

NeXt sAtuRday

CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION

Date : 29th of November
Venue :CPC
Time:8pm

for more information
please refer to

*www.highergroundunited.blogspot.com*

FriEnDs-pArT 2

Besides my best friends ,
i still remembered other friends that appear in my life.....

my housemate who stay with me and know me for more than 8 years
yeow,
thanks sometimes for your advice....
helping me very much also...
take care of me also...
thanks
just wanna tell you that....
do not just have one opinion...
there is a lots of choices in your life....
other choices might be good also
think of it also...

Shirley Turn,
i miss you so much
since few months ago
i got no news from you anymore....
how are you??
hope to see you soon....

my MC4clanz friends,
hou,su yen,chia yien,thong,hon lin,jing ying,shi min,su jean,wei,shirley lim,wong....
miss you all so much
i know
everytime of yc
i sure will not appear...
i promised next yc i will appear
so that i also got time to talk with you all
have no idea how are you all....
still ok??
miss ya....

my super old friends,
jonathan,bih yar,chin song,chin shu ying,yee yin,low shu ying,zhi heng,soon keat...
i think that's all
hope din miss out someone....
sometimes i really miss the time that we go yc together....
although i did not joined all the badminton activity
but at least i still got go yc right???
hehez....
will let you all know soon
when i am going back

Higher Ground's friends,
you know who you are.....
so long din join HG....
hope the next time going back
can join it again...

my coursemate,
woon yee,choon peng,jackson,tick keat,yi san,and so on....
thanks for helping me in everything
maybe i am cool sometimes
but i am active also...
thanks for helping me in some of the assignment like bm...

my close friend,
Ivan
thanks for helping me so much
take care of me also
i will appreaciate it
thanks again
i know you dont like it
but once last time...ok???

my good friend,
choong min
thanks for giving me support
thanks for teaching me so many things also...
thanks a lots
thanks for your word of encouragement....

thanks for what you all had done for me...
thanks....
miss ya...
sorry if i din mentioned you
let me know ya...
i scare i have forgotten you...
just as you all know i am blur sometimes right??
hehez....

FriEnDs

i know there is a lots of things happened in 5 of us....
really a lots...
arguments
happiness
sadness
misunderstanding
but i really miss the time that we spend together as best friend....
as Kelven said.....
he still miss the time that we yc together....
to my friend,
Pit Ling,
you did a lots things for me....
too much until i cant count it out
i appreciate what you did for me...
thanks....
i think is time for me to solve my problem by myself....
somehow just thanks...

Jared,
as you know,
you are my special friend...
you also did a lots of things for me...
take care of me
spending time,money on me
share my problems...
really thanks....
i hope you will forgive what i did
and hope that i still can be your best friend
share our problems together....
miss the time we are best friend...
somehow thanks....

David,
long lost David....
so long i have not been hearing from you...
do not know whether you are good or bad....
just wanna ask whether you are ok or not...
maybe my previous careness is not suitable and not enough for you
but hope you still understand what i did...
i apologize for what i had did...
sorry and thanks

Kelven,
you always look happy and funny in our group...
but now you seem like got lots of problems....
so long did not see you...
how was you there??
last night i only start to know you got lots of problems...
too slow only get the news right??
just commit everything to God
he know what you need
as you write in your blog....
He understand and solve all the problems
He so mighty....
nothing is impossible for him right???

miss you guys very much...
when is the next time that we can gather together again???
next year???
or coming Christmas??
let me know -_-v

stIlL tIr3d

first of all....
wanna wish

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to DAVID
may God bless you in everything

still tired all the day...
i feel like the time is not enough...
24 hours per day is too little
still got lots of things haven done....
do not know wanna finish which first...
my day start from 8.30am till 10.55pm.....
is almost using up my half of my day...
really miss the time that i can spend my time doing things that i like...

today just went for discipleship problem...
really learned a lots of things that i do not know.....
spiritual things,reaching to people....and so on....
although is tired....but i just want to thanks God that He still give me the strength...

i just got the news that Higher Ground is going to have Christmas celebration soon....
unfortunately,i cant join it....
my schedule is totally pack with things....

suddenly a lots of things come into my thought....
sometimes,i just feel that i am useless in some thing
useless in making decision
i afraid that wrong decision will be made....
that is why,
sometimes i do not make decision
but who can understand me??
this time i really feel hard to express my feeling
and i cant even have idea in how to advice people....
i realized that human like to stay in their own world when they meet problems
they just cant walk out from it...
i know sometimes is hard
is hard to let go something
but is it really important??
just ask yourselves what is important in your life....
money???
love???
friends???
study??
good result???
better job???
do not get influence by the world...
be yourselves
and try to think what you need in your life
something thing might look like important in your life....
but do u really thought of it ??
human's heart is hard to guess....
thinking too much might get me into confusion....
my life began complicated when getting older...
i do not know what to do sometimes...
is this the testing that given by God to me???
He planned something for me??
just feel like want to know it...
but time is the one that can prove everything to me....

tired is the last word i can said.....
TIRED

fOrTunAte or uNfOrtUnaTe

today just finished my bm presentation....
more relaxing now....
but the presentation is looked like last minute work....
somehow finished presented it...
since last time i am still wondering how am i looking when wearing skirt to college...
ugly??
super ugly???
but finally the shameful time passed...
finished presented and no more skirt in college....
happy....

annual general meeting for international business society was held today....
i thought i just went there for ATTENDANCE and also sleeping....
i thought there is no relation with me
and feel like going back to the second day of orientation....
really look alike...
time passed very fast....
now is the second semester
today is annual general meeting and not orientation anymore
do not know wanna take is a fortunate thing or not...
i got the post as treasurer for this society....
is one of the plan for me also...
i got no confident and do not know anything bout this post....
treasurer is a common post
but i do not know how its work in this society....
i think i can only try my best doing it....

tireD

today is a tired day....
i din sleep for more than few hours
and i only slept at this morning 6.30am....
and woke up at 9 something...
fantastic???
i think is more to crazy...
i thought after few hours later,
my energy will be using up
thank God....
until this moment i still quite active
QUITE active....
just went back from farewell party....
for others,
maybe is totally no more energy
but God still provide me with His strength so that i can finished all my work for presentation....
i am still thinking what will happen tomorrow
because tomorrow will be my first time wearing formal skirt to college....
i feel shameful for that....
hope tomorrow will be my first time wearing that and will be my last time wearing that also...

m3mOrAbLe sUnday-part 2

today service end quite early....
quite a lot of things happened this Sunday....
i really cried out when i hug pastor Sharon...
i really both of them a lots
although i just knew them for around half a year....
but i had a deep feeling in them....
they are my second spiritual father and mother...
is like when i met problem,
i do not even said out
they will just knew it....
they are so caring and loving
they always prayed for me when i really needed prayer....
really miss them....
i know what pastor said is true....
this is temporary earth for us to stay in...
we should rejoice for them
because they are following God's footstep...

after service,
we went for movie again....
do u think that we are rich???
no la....is just to relax ourselves
after movie is around 11pm....
we rush for monorel and lrt...
unfortunately,
we miss them....
the lrt's station was closed.....
what can we do???
went back to monorel's station then go back by taxi...
first time watched movie until that late
and just 3 of us....
yeow , Ivan and me....
is fun....

rUshInG

these two days keep on rushing for bm assignment....
too many things haven do....
a lots of information haven search....
is like huge work....
haiz.....
i am so blur doing it....
i totally got no idea in doing it....
really do not know what to do....
blank in my mind....
who can help me??
really need help
and this assignment need to pass up by coming Tuesday..

sTorY

i realized that our life full of stories....
everything that i had experience is all my stories...
all these stories is all include us....
behind us,
sure got some stories which are so memorable...
sometimes joke down all the stories are fun
because when we looked back
it is so 'cute' that we will did so....
do not ignore the old stories....
you might be surprised that all these are God wants to teach you through them...
so...
stories from the past can give us pointers for the present...

fInIsHeD

finally,
today i had finished QS's coursework...
feel more relaxing
but still cannot take a deep breath
because my economies really bad...
i afraid that i cannot catch up this semester...
i think i should spend more time in studying

besides,
i had finished my tennis's test this morning...
not that good...
still cannot play well.
i think i should practiced more to improve myself....

my friend called me this noon...
he told me what happen this few months in kuantan...
he want me to visit his new shop
i feel shock when he called me just to talk to me...
so long have not been hearing from him...
and i miss his sister too...
can consider as my best friend also...
hope to meet her soon...

tOmOrRoW

tomorrow is my quantities studied's test...
scare and afraid of it
my expectation for this subject is super high....
maybe is because have too high expectation,
i afraid that once it cannot reach what i expect...
i will really disappointed...
afraid of {disappointed} this word...
is a bad word that always come to me
so...
what i learned from every mistake...
is that we cannot put out hope into something....
i mean a little of hope can
but not too much....

i thought choir will come into my life again...
because teacher request me to help her again...
but actually i feel that
i am not that important if she really don't have me..
although i am there,
i still feel that she don't need me...

this noon until evening
i spend most of my time in library....
studying???
i don't this so...
talking???
yaya....
somehow,
after talking and told all my problems
it really relaxing...
a lots of secret kept inside of my heart...
i do not know who to tell and who can really understand me
but this noon...
i make it....
hoo.....
relax...
thanks for listening...

just now,
i took dinner with my parent...
they ordered all my beloved food....
they really love me...
thanks...

sPeaK oUt

sometimes i just wondering whether wanna speak out or tell out all my problems or not....
is hard...
can consider hard...
because until i still cannot get someone that really can solve all my problems except Him...
i really hope that i can get someone that can understand me well
and i do not need to speak out
and he or she know it...
i think is super hard...
who can did so??
unless the person really understand me..
speak or tell out everything really need a lots of braveness ...
if not,
cannot do so easily..

sometimes,
i feel that apologize or say some important words in front of me is important..
words like sorry,thanks and so on
are precious to me...
using other tool to say it is too fake...
only come out from is true and sincere...
because what your mouth speak is come out from your heart...

some hurting's words that speak out by people is really bad...
is hard to control ourselves from saying those words...
but as human...
we sometimes will still do it..
words cannot kill people but it will forever put deep into our heart...
maybe you might not realized that you are speaking those hurting words
but you still do it...

words??
should speak out or not??
hard question right??

gOoD oR bAd

one good news and one bad news for today...
good news is no more accounting class at 6pm until 8pm...
bad news is the class change to morning class,from 9am until 11am...
wow....
Monday our class start at 10am
Tuesday class start at 8am
Wednesday curriculum at 8.30am
Thursday class at 9am...
luckily Friday until Sunday are holidays...
but still need to get up early and end quite late also...
somehow...
teenagers should wake up more early right??

today,
my mum called me up again...
she tole me that they are going to leave KL by this noon..
but when dinner time,
they came to my house and visited me...
nice and sweet right??
they will be going back by tomorrow..
pray that all the angels will protect them....

these few days really feel tired...
really tired
but once i feel tired...
the same verse always come into my mind...
and remind me that He will gives me strength
i still waiting for His confirmation...
something really need me to wait for a long long time...
don't know whether my prayer is answered by Him or not...
just wanna know it quickly...

just now i saw something really make me feel disappointed...
am i really bad??
my language really bad??
my attitude really bad??
am i??
am i??
am i??
no one can really answer me...
now,
cannot think too much on this question
because i had promised someone not to think too much
beside,
this question is not important anymore
somehow...
tomorrow still will come....
waiting for a new day....

SundAy

today...
feel tired but happy
wake up earlier for church
today message is about the position of our heart and mind
this message is like spoken to me...
speak into my heart...
i know what shall i do now
pray hard is the only...
no matter in what aspect....
life partner...studies...relationship between friends or everything...
i will just pray and wait for God's answer...
i know maybe some of you won do that...
but i think this is the best way to do so...
at least i won fall into wrong step
and pastor keep on saying that...
His view is wide and we cannot expect or guess it...
because our view is very shortening...
what He told us,we might not know now...
but soon we will know it...

after praise and celebration,
Ivan and me went for movie...
not that nice....half boring...half interesting...
so...
my advice is better don't watch...

after movie,
we rushed to my aunt's house...
my parent is coming down to KL again...
nice to see them again...
my mum brought a lots of foods for me
is like one month harvesting...
haha..
somehow i should appreciate it very much
cause is all done by my mum who using so much time in it...
thanks...

whOle dAy

today.....
7th of November 2008
just pass quickly by just doing nothing whole day
after woke up...
my friend came to visit as usual
after lunch...
i just spend my time by watching movie...
and doing nothing else...
cannot imagine this is me,jasmine
because i seldom spend my time by just watching movie half of the day...
really not like the old jasmine...
really miss the old jasmine
who can firm in studying and will not waste her time by watching movie...

after dinner...
pit ling and me visited yeow at hospital...
she looked more better than yesterday...
is good...
hope she will get well soon...

tagged by MiNmIn

what was the happiest thing in your whole life?
*have many people that take care of me like my family,friends and also God...hehez

what do you wish to have right now?
*everything i need

when was the last time you HoUrse Laugh??
*cant remember ler

what do you realize recently?
*i realized a lot of things that i cannot imagine it

which bad habit of you that is most unacceptable?
*maybe biting fingernails...and of course still got la...

when you're unhappy what will you do?
*sleep and eat...so that can get fat at the same time

what are you afraid of losing?
*everything that i have now...

within 5 years,which target is the most realistic one?
-i think helping those needed people...maybe..

when you met someone you like,will you confess or hide your feelings?
*of course hide it...cannot let him know

list out 3 kind of persons that you hate the most?
*i think until this moment i haven meet those bad kind of people yet..

define loneliness
*alone

are you satisfied with your life now??
*i can say it con firmly yes...

when is the most recent time you felt touched?
*when i need help that time,those one who let me a helping hand i sure get touched

where is the most beautiful place that you have visited?
*haven got that chance to visit to those beautiful place yet...i think the most beautiful place that
i ever visit is my room...haha

a song that is playing in your mind recently??
*there is a lots

if you have a wish come true,what is it?
*then i wish all my wish come true...

do you have anything to worried or scared recently?
*sure....a lots...until not manage to say it...

if the world is going to end,what will you do?
*do something that you cannot guess of it...

who are you thinking of right now?
*everyone that i know