tOmOrRoW

tomorrow is my quantities studied's test...
scare and afraid of it
my expectation for this subject is super high....
maybe is because have too high expectation,
i afraid that once it cannot reach what i expect...
i will really disappointed...
afraid of {disappointed} this word...
is a bad word that always come to me
so...
what i learned from every mistake...
is that we cannot put out hope into something....
i mean a little of hope can
but not too much....

i thought choir will come into my life again...
because teacher request me to help her again...
but actually i feel that
i am not that important if she really don't have me..
although i am there,
i still feel that she don't need me...

this noon until evening
i spend most of my time in library....
studying???
i don't this so...
talking???
yaya....
somehow,
after talking and told all my problems
it really relaxing...
a lots of secret kept inside of my heart...
i do not know who to tell and who can really understand me
but this noon...
i make it....
hoo.....
relax...
thanks for listening...

just now,
i took dinner with my parent...
they ordered all my beloved food....
they really love me...
thanks...

sPeaK oUt

sometimes i just wondering whether wanna speak out or tell out all my problems or not....
is hard...
can consider hard...
because until i still cannot get someone that really can solve all my problems except Him...
i really hope that i can get someone that can understand me well
and i do not need to speak out
and he or she know it...
i think is super hard...
who can did so??
unless the person really understand me..
speak or tell out everything really need a lots of braveness ...
if not,
cannot do so easily..

sometimes,
i feel that apologize or say some important words in front of me is important..
words like sorry,thanks and so on
are precious to me...
using other tool to say it is too fake...
only come out from is true and sincere...
because what your mouth speak is come out from your heart...

some hurting's words that speak out by people is really bad...
is hard to control ourselves from saying those words...
but as human...
we sometimes will still do it..
words cannot kill people but it will forever put deep into our heart...
maybe you might not realized that you are speaking those hurting words
but you still do it...

words??
should speak out or not??
hard question right??